Saturday, May 17, 2014

The Elusive and Oft Praised Date Night

Date nights seem to be one of those things everyone tells you that you need. The sort of thing listed on tips for a successful marriage. However, they play almost no role in ours.

Dates are not something we do.

But Friday we did. We ate Mexican food and snooped around Home Depot and went to see The Grand Budapest Hotel, which just happened to still be playing near us. And it was completely nice, but for us, also completely unnecessary. Lucky for us since they don't happen often, our date didn't feel like something we've been missing out on, which I'm sure has a lot to do with the fact that our big kids spend the night with my parents so often.  It's easy to sneak in episodes of House of Cards or Mad Men while Arlo sleeps. Maybe those moments alone provide all the date night we actually need.

Just another reminder that every relationship is different. What we need just isn't the same as what other folks do.  Also, as it turns out, we have absolutely no problem not talking about our kids for a whole night. Maybe we're heartless. Probably.

Notes on wearing a romper: You can't really tell that I am wearing the equivalent of grown-up pajamas in this picture, but rest assured, I am. While all the coolest girls in Nashville and Portland sport rompers like it ain't no thang, wearing a onsie is not for the faint of heart. In my experience, people feel that it is their god-given duty to comment of this particular sartorial decision. 


  1. I love you. You are absolutely right. Everyone's relationship is different and has different needs. One set of rules does not apply to every couple. I think this is true in friendships too. People need different things from the people in their lives. As long as you love each other, can understand and respect those differences, that's all that matters and makes a good relationship. Glad you guys had a great time!!

    1. There is no one set of rules for anything but sports, as far as I can tell.

    Since having Sullivan, I have had waaaaay too many people tell me I need to start pumping so I can leave him with a sitter and go on a "real date night." I've gotten so sick of trying to explain and justify and of being made to feel guilty about it. Especially since it seems pretty out of my control right now. Ugh.
    Anyways: AMEN and all that.

    1. Yeah, date nights are cool and all, but they certainly aren't the end all be all of relationships. Not to mention, when babies are really little, you still get some alone time. You can watch Mad Men together while the little guy sleeps and I feel like it scratches that itch pretty well, for us at least.

      The only advice I think I would ever pass on to a new mother is "Prepare yourself for more advice than you ever knew was possible."

  3. We hear it ALL the time but what we don't hear is "We will help you do that by watching your children"..... So for us, we just make do with the time we have. You're right, it shouldn't be a deal breaker. And you're right again. Wearing a romper ALWAYS provokes people to make some awkward comment about it.
    Why do they need to know how I use the potty?