Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Alone

I think I need some time alone, preferably somewhere that is not my house, though I would take that over nothing. I think I need time to go to sleep early and wake up late and wander around and not worry about laundry and not have to feed other people.

I need to be by myself and dream a little and read a little and take some pictures maybe, but not look at a computer screen, not pick up any blocks, not put any dishes away.

I think I need to not be responsible for anyone else for about 48 hours. I need to not worry what I'm supposed to be doing, no worry about what needs to get done.

I'm always fascinated by people who seek solitude. I enjoy the hustle and bustle and chaos and coming and going and noise... most of the time. But I think I need to recharge for bit. Recenter.

It just feels like there isn't enough time. Do I really want to sacrifice a sacred weekend to leave the people I love to go be by myself? And I keep answering, no, I don't. But I think that maybe I need to reconsider. I'm pretty sure that I will be able to love the people I love even better if I could have some moments without them.



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8 comments:

  1. UnknownApril 2, 2014 at 6:44 AM

    Go, you will be so glad that you did. A weekend away can do wonders. It's something that everyone needs mama. Do it!

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    1. UnknownApril 2, 2014 at 2:45 PM

      I think putting it into words made me realize how much I need it. Now I just need to figure out the how.

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  2. MillaApril 2, 2014 at 9:34 AM

    I agree. If nothing else, you will appreciate the hubbub of your life more after being away for a spell. I mean, I'm biased, but I really think alone time is amazing. Either way, hope you have a grand time!

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    1. UnknownApril 2, 2014 at 2:44 PM

      I have only spent two nights by myself in my entire life. TWO. I assume alone time is amazing. I just have never had any.

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  3. moonshinejunkyardApril 2, 2014 at 10:58 AM

    i do LOVE alone time but can't even imagine it right now. i think once my nursling is a bit older it is something i'm going to desperately need. right now it is heaven if darin has both girls in the morning and i get to lay in bed alone (with my cat) for a few extra minutes. go for it mama! you will rediscover sweet secrets of your soul :)

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    1. UnknownApril 2, 2014 at 2:43 PM

      I think part of the reason I'm so drawn to the idea now is because I am getting pretty sick of nursing. I think baby led weaning is amazing, but I am ready to try a less subtle approach. i need some new discoveries. soon. soon.

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  4. careApril 3, 2014 at 12:51 PM

    I love being alone. It's probably one of my favorite things to do ever. I love my family...but I'm definitely one of those people who needs time to myself or I get cranky. Using the word cranky is me being veeeerry polite to myself ;)

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  5. alexaApril 9, 2014 at 12:58 PM

    I am reading this a week late, Rachel, but I find myself saying 'me too!' as I move through your words and thoughts. What a wonderful feeling it would be to hug one's energy close and not feel the pull of others' need ...

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