Saturday, March 22, 2014

Revelation

Sometimes it takes years to realize something relatively obvious about yourself. Today I had a revelation, small but significant to me.

I am a host. I love to invite people over. I thought maybe I did it because I am sort of good at it, or maybe I did it because I'm lazy and don't like going places. And while I still think both of those things are partially true, I think I discovered the real reason I do it.

I invite people over because I am afraid that people are going to have fun without me. I'm afraid that they won't invite me over, and that everyone else will be having a better time than me doing all sorts of amazing things while I'm at home reading a book or staring at a screen.

I hate that idea.

So I take control, and I make a party because I can't be not invited to my own house.



6 comments:

  1. That's an interesting insight - self knowledge is always fruitful :).

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  2. Haha, FOMO! My daughter has that, hence why she never wants to sleep!
    I love entertaining as well, but I like to think its because I love being social having people around me. :)

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  3. I love your honesty in this post! You seem to be a very amazing host!

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    1. Maybe not amazing, but certainly willing, and that's half the battle/

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  4. Ha!! I don't have it in me to take three young children to any of the gatherings going on around here. We forgo even birthday parties for my children's classmates because I know that the reality of actually being there is nothing like the image you get from the shiny, happy invitation promising a "great time!"... So this last year, as we have lived in our first home, I have opened it up to host gatherings from church twice a week. I stopped attending these groups after my 3rd was born. This arrangement has been very nice for us and I am no longer the lone ranger Christian I once was ;) It's good to be in other's lives and this has forced me out of my natural tendency to introverting. I could honestly hole up in this house forever and be content! But we have a greater calling than our own pleasures.
    I just absolutely love your blog. I love your bare boned honesty, transparency and confession. Amazing.

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    1. Hosting twice a week is a lot. Even with my love of having people over, that seems somewhat daunting but I'm sure my house would be cleaner if I thought that people were coming over that often.
      Thank you so much Laura. Sometimes blogging seems a little silly, so it's really wonderful to get encouragement. I certainly try for honesty but it's so hard to fight the desire to just make things look and sound pretty and then more on.

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