The State of Me

At present, I find my creative energies divided. There is only so much time. This past month or so, I have been manically devoted to trying to start a photography business. My mind boomerangs back to the thoughts of it, over and over again. 

Thoughts that are clouded with doubts, as creative pursuits so often are. I could list them one by one, give them name and voice, and maybe that would be the healthy thing to do. Instead, I push them to the back of my mind, and take care to leave a door open, hoping they will slip out on their own, like overlooked guests bored at a party. 

For now, I just keep letting my thoughts come back to Ira Glass:

"Nobody tells this to people who are beginners, I wish someone told me. All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you. A lot of people never get past this phase, they quit. Most people I know who do interesting, creative work went through years of this. We know our work doesn’t have this special thing that we want it to have. We all go through this. And if you are just starting out or you are still in this phase, you gotta know its normal and the most important thing you can do is do a lot of work. Put yourself on a deadline so that every week you will finish one story. It is only by going through a volume of work that you will close that gap, and your work will be as good as your ambitions. And I took longer to figure out how to do this than anyone I’ve ever met. It’s gonna take awhile. It’s normal to take awhile. You’ve just gotta fight your way through."

I'm just going to keep fighting my way through.
And working hard.
And trusting in the process.

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