Monday, October 20, 2014

This Weekend We / Bonfire Season

Even as a young mom, I loved going to bars. I liked making random friends for the evening, the older and more grizzled the better. I liked talking to strangers and putting quarters into juke boxes and dancing to mediocre cover bands. Tom and I would take turns going out. I never resented the nights I was home alone with Sena and Gus because I knew it meant that my turn was next.

When it recently occurred to me how long it had been since I danced so hard that my legs were sore the next day, I was sad. At first I was sad because it'll be quite some time till I can even pretend to entertain that possibility. And then I became sad because I realized that maybe I don't want to go do that as much as I think I do.

During my still going out days, I remember other mothers saying they didn't do that sort of thing since they became moms, and I was mad at them for blaming their children for their lack of spunk. I'm still mad that they blame their kids. Chances are it wasn't motherhood as much as age.

I don't particularly want to stay up that late anymore. I would rather spend my free hours surrounded by people I love. My Friday nights don't need to end in a big tab and minor hang over. I am happy to spend them around a bonfire with an equal mix of friends and family, with a dozen kids wrecking havoc and toasting marshmallows. It feels like a damn fine way to spend a Friday.

And if the next morning follows with donuts, bacon, and coffee, how could the weekend go wrong? It makes it a lot easier to not get too jealous when your best friend texts you to say she had the best old man chat over at one of the world's most perfect dive bars


  1. PERFECT friday night. Still feels like being young and wild in the best way.

    I'm so with you too, blame age not motherhood. My going-out-to-bars days are definitely not over, but not seeming so appealing since about 2010.

  2. I don't like the idea that being a mom means you instantly stop doing the things you once liked to do. But I am completely okay with accepting that the things you like to do change. Growing up is good. Growing boring isn't.