It's a weird thing to say, I guess. It's one of those things I feel like you aren't supposed to say. I feel like there is this idea that as a woman, I am almost supposed to be a little insecure. It is totally acceptable to admit to all sorts of body issues and to discuss your flaws in large groups of woman, but as soon as you say you like anything about your physical appearance, that you like you, that you love you, you set yourself up for criticism, not to your face of course, but when you leave. It's sort of scary to say it out loud, or type it. But I don't want to be scared. I want to love myself and celebrate myself and radiate confidence.
But even though I like myself and I usually think I'm pretty, I have always struggled with my weight. But I try not to talk about it. Because it seems weak. And I don't want to be weak. I want to be confident and I want to be secure. I don't want to be a pathetic constant dieter, who never seems to live proudly in her own skin. I don't want to rob myself of joy and pleasure while I count calories. I want to live fully, boldly, confidently. Dieting seems like the antithesis of that life.
So sometimes I try to diet on the sly, so as not to give the impression that I care. So as not to seem to concerned with my imperfections.
But today I am starting my Whole 30 Challenge. I'm doing it because I do love myself and I do think I'm pretty, but I'll admit that I would love for there to be a little less body to love. And even if there is just as much of me at the end of this challenge as there was at the beginning, I love my body and I want to treat it well. There ain't no way my diet Pepsi and a chocolate sprinkle donut are doin' me any favors.
*That is my excited/ nervous/ confident face, in case you were wondering. I mean I figured if I'm gonna write a post that declares that I love me, I at least needed a picture of me to prove it.
i love this! i think lots of women diet on the sly, or "eat healthy" with a big concern about weight that they never mention. i know damn well after having a baby it is going to take me at least a year to get back to my normal weight because that is where i was headed with lucy, then got pregnant again. i try hard not to care too, and i do usually feel pretty, but sadly i feel prettier when there is a bit less of my body mass, strange how that works huh?! anyway i love your refreshing honesty, and i LOVE that you LOVE YOU! i love me too. i think this is such a vital aspect to parenting as well, and really good role modeling for positive healthy individuals who feel okay to be totally comfortable and at ease in the bodies they inhabit. best wishes to you! and have fun with those treats too, they sound a lot like mine :)
ReplyDeletethanks so much for your support and encouragement, concerning this and blogging/ writing in general. At some point you wrote about body image and self-love/ acceptance and it really resonating with me. I've thought back on it frequently. I have a girl's group during lunch at school and we talk through a lot of these ideas and issues and I think it's been as important and valuable for me as it has been for them. We shouldn't be embarrassed to love ourselves. Like tNt said, we shouldn't wait to love ourselves til we're perfect. We love others despite on because of their imperfections. Let's celebrate who we are.
DeleteThis may sound silly, but I think that most women (including myself) lack the ability to love ourselves.
ReplyDeleteWe always think that there are others before us, that we have to attend other people's needs and
forget about ourselves. That we cannot love ourselves fully until we are perfect and this perfection
include making all people around us happy. We are hard on ourselves.
And in my opinion this is the perfect basis for struggle with the body image or abusive relationships
or standing in the background were praises for work well done are paid.
I love your challenge. Especially the part that this in not really about loosing weight but loving yourself
and treating you well.
I couldn't agree with you more about the struggle. If we wait to love ourselves til we're perfect, we're gonna die without ever doing it. If only we were as kind to ourselves as we are to others. I really love the Buddhist idea that "You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” damn right. Let's get on this!
DeleteYou are beautiful and good luck with you challenge! I can't wait to hear how it goes :) - Court | lovecourtxoxo.com
ReplyDeleteFab! I think it's so great, to touch on insecurities and reach out in our blogging community! Everyone has their "I'm rockin'" days vs "eugh I'm old and fat" days. Or at least I do, and all my friends! We are SO hard on ourselves! Why?
ReplyDeleteBlogging has been so good for me and the comments, support and love bring me joy.
So you go girl!
You are gorgeous! Xx
It's a year late but thank you!
ReplyDeleteHonest and real and me, too.
Every word, me too.