Inside

Looking through recent photos would make it appear that we are almost never in our house. Life outside the walls is certainly more photogenic, and I am happy to pretend that we spend most of our minutes in the dabbled sunlight of our yard or in the brighter beams of the beach we have come to consider our own.

But our truth is that we spend plenty of time on the inside and these moments are full of just as much goodness as those baptized in fresh air. And I don't want to forget them.

I don't want to forget the hours that Sena spends playing with her dolls and the times that Arlo comes in to join her.

I don't want to forget the way Gus hardly knows how to entertain himself inside without the aid of pixelated images and snacks.

I don't want to forget my littlest boy, asleep asleep on my bed as the afternoon light bursts through, dreaming dreams I will never know about.

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My Sister's Birthday

Today, one of my little sisters turns 26. On Friday, we celebrated her birthday, and as usual, I decided to take the opportunity to get a little too introspective while grilling chicken and clearing plates. This is a big year for my sister Claire-- this is the year she is getting married. But she isn't just marrying Andrew, she's marrying a whole other family as well. More people to love. More people to worry about. More people to cause to worry.

When you have a child, your family grows by one. But when you get married, your family grows by many in the single moment it takes to say "I do."

It seemed appropriate that Claire celebrated the beginning to the year she gets married with her family and her soon-to-be family, a family that I personally am already quite fond of.

I went to college with Claire's fiance Andrew and his sister Rita. They are both wonderful and always have been; I was always happy when I would run into either of them at college parties or while lounging at the waterfront. I know that I actually only get to lay claim to Andrew as an in-law, but I have already started to think of the entire clan as a part of ours. 

One thing you learn from growing up in a big family is how to share. So Claire, like it or not, will be forced to share her new family with us all. Gus has already taken to calling Hazel his cousin. However, that could get a little awkward if Arlo's giant crush on her doesn't weaken.

Happy Birthday, Claire. You've got a hell of a year ahead of you.

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Summer of the Boat Continues

Yesterday we drove across the bay to the flatness of the Eastern Shore to load up our friends Maggie and Pat's boat with kids and coolers.  Although Arlo had a rough start (who doesn't hate life jackets?), after the boat got moving, he forgot all about his personal floatation device and seemed to enjoy the wind and the wake.

I think that my favorite part of boating is the time when the boat is zipping across the water, and the engine is roaring so loudly that you can't talk, so you get to sink into your thoughts. And I imagined what it would be like to live in one of the houses along the Chester River, imagined what it would be like to spend my weekends anchoring just offshore from the little beaches that dot the water's edge. Imagined knowing all the names of the other boaters who jump into the shallows to drink their beers in hip deep water. There are so many ways to live a life, and Maggie and Pat have picked a good one for themselves and for their son.

I know that my primary job as a mother is not to make their childhood fun or "magical." I have far more important things I  should be doing and instilling and training, but the efforts I do put forward, are never for naught. Those days that I give my children, the ones that involve hours of miles so we can do something new and wonderful, they don't just benefit my children.

I loved watching Arlo get his sea legs and then sleep nestled into an inner tube piled with towels. And I loved watching my clumsy, good natured daughter pull herself back on the boat, over and over again, as awkwardly and gracelessly as her mother-- her mother who had the good sense to jump off the boat, once, and only once, so as to avoid the shameless debacle of hauling herself back in the boat sans a ladder or any upper body strength to speak of.  I loved watching Gus and Charlie dress up for no reason at all, as Pat grilled brats and burgers. And I loved eating a quintessential summer meal with friends before packing my kids back up and having them fall asleep minutes after leaving.

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Right Now

Right now it feels like there are simply too many people to worry about, and the only relief is the knowledge that summer is just around the corner.

Right now, I'm filling up weekends with all sorts of plans and then lamenting that the calendar is too full.

Right now, I'm happy to have a freezer full of the spoils of my first ever Costco trip and to be rid (at least temporarily) of the age-old question "What will I make for dinner?"

Right now, I find myself going back to this photo over and over again, and feeling sort of smug about my family. Because these guys are cool and these guys are mine.

Right now, I am grateful for an afternoon that somehow managed to feel like a vacation-- two kids playing with neighbors, one kid sleeping, a husband home from work early, and two episodes of Game of Thrones.

Other Right Nows. 1, 2, and 3. 

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This Weekend We

I've said it plenty of times; I have been a mother my entire adult life. Which means that there is a certain type of weekend that I have experienced very minimally-- days that start late and then include a boozy brunch and hauling myself into a hammock to sleep off my hangover. I feel certain that is how I would have spent most Saturdays of my twenties.

But there have been very few of these days. Instead weekends are spent with a gaggle of kids and finding something to do that  feels like we did something, but not too much something. For this reason, we spend a lot of time on the beach. The beach straddles the perfect do something/ do nothing line.

My kids are good at being beach kids; they are good at spending hours exploring streams and building forts and eating sandy snacks without too much complaining. Sena and Gus have taught Arlo by example. He now roams among the adults and dogs and coolers without fussing or trying to bend the day to his own desires.

This Sunday on a new to us beach with a few new to us friends, as well as some old faithfuls, we did all the beach things we love to do plus a few things not in our usual arsenal. And while we were only about twenty miles down the shore from our sandy stretch, it managed to gracefully feel both new and familiar, another perfectly well straddled line.

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