Before the Fall

 I'm so proud of this girl with her big, ole' bun and her violin. 

She is so smart and creative.

She is courageous and dynamic and spectacularly interesting.

On Saturday she played Bingo. And on Tuesday she auditioned for her first play.

And I don't even know what Friday could bring because she

is always ready for something new and exciting and challenging. 

And I'll be there to admire her, trying to put together the pieces of my heart 

that bursts with pride from time to time. 

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This Weekend We- Got a Little Older

I don't know how to talk about my weekend without bragging. I don't know how to express how much I love and appreciate and completely enjoy the people in my life without being downright boastful.

This weekend had gifted art and midnight construction projects, best friends from Brooklyn and baby ducks, jet skis and breakfast feasts. I was surrounded by my children and my family and my friends and so much love.

I said good-bye to 28, a year that brought me Arlo, our first house, and a minivan, and said hello to the last year of my twenties. I have to say I was sad about this birthday because I feel a little suspicious that 29 can't  possibly top 28. 28 was so good to me; how can this year compete? 29, show me what ya got.

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The Turing Test or The Time Tom Snuck onto Rachel's Blog

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Rachel makes people feel good, good about themselves, good about each other, and good about life.  Rachel makes a place feel good, makes its nooks and corners feel special, makes its rooms inviting, fills its walls with color and its halls with warm sound.  Life can be rough -- babies want boobs all night, kids want to yell at each other and knock over houseplants, neighbors want to call the police on you when your sister-in-law parks her car in the road so that its back tire is in front of their house.  Rachel handles life with grace, she speaks with ease and poise, she laughs loud and frequently and isn't afraid of anything.  If you could manufacturer a machine that does everything Rachel does, it would be worth hundreds of billions of dollars -- not just because of the qualities that make her valuable as a mother and wife, but (and, honestly, much more importantly) because it would be a machine exhibiting intelligent behavior indistinguishable from that of a human being.  You would make a fortune.

Happy Birthday, Rachel. I love you.

Sincerely, 

Tom

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Wanted/ 02

I've been spending time thinking about what I want for my children,

 in particular what I want them to be, what I hope for them.

Above all else, I want my children to be kind-- 

kind to others, kind to each other, and kind to themselves.

I want my children to be the ones who notice the lonely, the sad, the scared. And I want my children to be the ones to show them kindness, to let them know that they are important and that they are loved. I want them to be kind to the old ones, the young ones,  the scarred ones, the broken ones, the forgotten ones, the ignored ones. I want them to show love and compassion, to bring warmth and joy.

I want my children to be kind to one another. When Gus goes to try to cheer Sena up when she is upset after being punished, and when Sena offers to memorize more Bible verses so Gus will have enough AWANA dollars to buy his prize, I know that they are on the right track, even if sometimes they stumble. I want them to look out for one another, to remember each other, to compliment each other, to hug each other. I want them to always know that they have each other to come to and that their sibling will be there to love them completely and totally.

And I want them to be kind to themselves. I want them to love themselves and appreciate who they are.

I want them treat themselves well, and for them to know that they deserve good things and good people.

They are on the right path, these three people of mine. I hope they never lose their way.

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This Old House

The amount of time I spend thinking about my house is absolutely embarrassing, possibly shameful. Since buying a house, I have a completely different relationship with my living space and my things, and also with my mom, or at least the way that I understand her.
As a kid I couldn't understand how she could spend so long trying to decide which fan to buy. I didn't see that the cream walls were actually green. I couldn't imagined why she said her favorite store was the hardware store.

But since we bought this old cottage, I want to make it ours, a reflection of what we value and who we are as a family. I want it to tell our story, and so all the sudden every light fixture, every door handle, seems important.

It's meant that I've maybe spend a little too long pondering who I am and who I want to be, pondering what type of family we are, and what type of family I want us to be.
I'm hoping for eclectic and imperfect, warm and comfortable, inviting and unexpected. I want people to want to explore, to sit on the chairs, to pull out books, and to grab a drink. I want the space to be beautiful and exciting, filled with life and experiences and patina and so much love.

For more of my home obsessing you can check these out, or not. Totally up to you.

Crannies and Corners/ 01

Crannies and Corners/ 02

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