Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Self-Doubt and the Creative Process

If you aren't already aware, I started a photography business in May. If you aren't aware, you probably haven't spent much time with me lately, digitally or IRL. If you had, you would know because I talk about it too much, and I think about it even more.  It has been nearly all consuming. I try not to let it be, but it's exciting and challenging. It requires all sorts of skills I have not had a chance to sharpen until now.

But it also involves so much self doubt.

Because it's hard to tell people to pay me for something they could do themselves. To convince them that I do it better.

Because selling my art/ product / service feels like selling myself.

And it's impossible to avoid feeling like an imposter. To avoid feeling like a cliche.

At my worse I feel like everything I do is either boring or wrong.

But I'm pretty damn sure that's how everyone feels.

7 comments:

  1. yeeeeeeesssssssss! It's the worst!!!!!!! There aren't enough exclamation points for me to express this agreement!!!! Your pictures are beautiful, and you are a great, creative person.

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    1. I wish we were able to commiserate about this IRL. It sure is a maddening process.

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    2. I wish we were able to commiserate about this IRL. It sure is a maddening process.

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  2. It really is. Sigh. But you're great. Promise.

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    1. Thanks, Suzy. It's a heavy burden to bear, this whole creative insecurity thing.

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  3. So I just read two major books, Power of Potential and Never Quit by Dr. Ed Cole. Major, as in majorly mind shifting and easily applicable. They are tiny, readable literally in a day, and he's such a plain spoken fellow. Anyways, I cant recommend them enough. I'm starting a study with my neighbor on them tomorrow, else I would send them to you.
    Something awesome in Never Quit is the part where he talks about emulation. He describes it as copying to the point of jealousy and the way we pattern our styles of anything (creative, lifestyle, ministry) after those we admire. But it is only in the secret place, the time that we've withdrawn and spent intimately with God that real inspiration and creativity are birth. I can not testify enough that lately as I've returned to my first love I cannot believe how much inspiration He has given me. The best part though is that my self analytical peanut gallery left the building, ha ha! I don't know where those little guys went but I noticed they were gone. Our God is a creative God, He is called The Creator. The earth He made is called Creation. If anyone (anyone!) has the right to creative freedom, creative expression AND the increase that can be made from creative endeavors, it is you and I sweet friend. Because we are "made in His image" and we reflect His glory. That means we look like Him to the world so they can see that which is invisible. We are the rightful heirs of creative dominion and creative enterprise. Your talent is raw, beautiful and humbly served. Suzy is right, promise. <3

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    1. I'm tracking them down on amazon. I want my analytical peanut gallery to hit the bricks. I am also so happy to hear about your inspiration.
      I wanna talk about these after I read them.

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