In the days leading up to last weekend, I was feeling a little bitter. I had to work two shifts, take two sets of pictures for friends, and go see Sena's play. It's not that I don't enjoy these things, but it felt like the whole weekend was just going to be a rush, and there didn't seem like there would be time to prepare for the week ahead, or to just simply be.
Somehow I had forgotten how hours can stretch on and on, making room for what you need. That days can billow, the edges blurred. Time can move ever so slowly.
I think the change in attitude can be hugely attributed to experiencing Saturday's brisk and beautiful sunrise. Watching the steam rise from the bay. Feeling the cold air try to sneak through every opening. Up my sleeves. Down my sweater. And coming home to a peaceful house. Tom holding Alamae while watching Unforgiven. Arlo still asleep. The two oldest sleeping over at other people's places. There was time enough for cup after cup of coffee, before collecting all four children and taking them to a Christmas parade, a very quiet Christmas parade. Wandering over to a playground, candy in hand. Watching as Alamae experienced what may have been the best moment of her life, while covered in a Twizzler, swinging over her older brother.
There were plenty of slow moments in my busy weekend. Time for dinner with friends on Sunday night. Time for my heart to break while watching Sena on the makeshift stage in the Boys and Girls Club gymnasium. The things that didn't get done are mostly still not done. And so maybe it will be a busy week. Or maybe instead of crossing things off my to-do list, I'll just throw the whole list away.