Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Two Years In

Two years ago today I started this blog with a few words about a baby boy and a family ice skating trip. It has been one new year's resolution that I have actually kept. I started it when blogs were well past their heyday. The chance of creating something that would be a thing was pretty minimal, but I have never been an early adapter, so it was no surprise that I got in on the action at the tail end.

I also felt pretty narcissistic about the whole enterprise. What did I possibly have to contribute that someone else wasn't already contributing? Why would anyone care about my little bits of introspection and some pictures of the things we did over the weekend?

I almost never acknowledge the existence of this blog in the real world. I get embarrassed when I run into someone, and they mention reading it. It feels silly and trivial. I never quite know what to say. When I had a Facebook account, I only posted a link to this blog once, and I remember going into work the next day very anxious that someone would mention it. No one did.

However, silly and self-involved the whole thing might be, it's something I enjoy. I like trying to prepare my thoughts as I drive home from work in the afternoons. I like having an excuse to sit down and hammer out a few sentences in the evenings while the kids play near by. I like getting to go back and re-read words and ideas that weighed on my mind at some point in the not-that-distant past.

Blogging is different from keeping a journal. I know that the goal of my writing is to share it, even if that network is quite humble. But knowing that someone else will see the words makes me try just a little harder to craft them. I mull over some of the ideas, leave them be for awhile, come back when I think I have a little more clarity.

And blogging almost turns your whole life into a hobby. You get to look at your everyday moments through a different lens. While this might seem inauthentic or staged, it is also meditative and reflective. It has filled me with appreciation and gratitude. I know that especially when I first started this blog, I felt like I had to make sure that I actually did some things to write about. And making myself do things is a really good practice. In the months after Arlo was born, which happen to be the first months of this blog, I felt so completely and totally content with life.

When I look back through the archives, I cringe at certain turns of phrases, words that sound like they came out of someone else's mouth. I don't love all the pictures. I wonder why I bothered sharing some thoughts at all. But I also am glad that those words and pictures and thoughts are there for me to revisit, and I am even more grateful for the pleasure they brought me while I worked on them.



7 comments:

  1. Many congratulations on your anniversary! I am relatively new, but you are in my reader and I am always glad to see your posts and enjoy them. (I am sure we have cringe at bits of our blogs when we look back!)

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    1. Thanks Alexa. A little dose of humility is usually just what I need.

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  2. Happy Anniversary!!! Thank you for giving me something I CAN READ and love! ;)

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  3. Blogging is such an interesting thing.. each of us doing it for different reasons. Like you, i am doing much of it as a family journal but also as a way for me to express what may be going on in my brain at that given time.
    So glad to have found your blog.

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    1. It really does give me a place/ reason to give words to the swirling thoughts that might otherwise get eaten up my dinner prep and paying bills and all the other things that grown ups have to do.

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  4. Hi Rachel- I just found your lovely blog and this post really hit dead on with how I think and feel about blogging. I have a teeny tiny readership and am super inconsistent with my own blog, but I LOVE being able to look back on it all. Thank you for sharing- and here's to two more years!

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