Sunday, April 3, 2016

The Best Sort of Day

Not all days are great, but some are. Those are the ones I focus on, sometimes, likely, to my detriment. The good days, the ones that come on me without warning, buoy my heart. They keep me lazy. Rob me of ambition. Because what else do I need when I can finish school early with my kids, load up second hand strollers with the people I love, walk along the water to buy flowers and chocolate milk and iced coffees? What more can I ask for when we can stop along the way to play on wooden pirate ships?  When there is an old galvanized bucket waiting in my mother's yard, ready to be filled with one too many grandchildren? 

And when those days find their way to me, I do everything I can to grab ahold of them and to keep them tight. Stretch them out while babies fall asleep on comfy outdoor sofas or in the arms of their fathers. I tuck them away in my memory. Give them amble space to grow. 

There are at least a dozen reasons that I get embarrassed about keeping a blog, at least this type of blog: a lifestyle/ mommy blog. I recognize the narcissism. I hear the cliches even as I type them. I know this offers little in the way of adding to any greater good. 

Chief among my concerns is that it is not authentic. I worry that people who know me look at it and see all that remains unsaid.  

There are so many things that I don't include here. Like how I worry about money. And when I fight with my family. I try to gloss over the fact that I am self-righteous and judgmental, and I can be a complete flake. I yell at my kids, and I cuss way too much. There are times when I feel suffocated with the weight of loving too many people, many of whom make the most god awful decisions known to man. 

That stuff is a part of me. It's a part of my children and my family and my story.

But the good days, like this past Friday which rolled into Saturday and Sunday too. They're a part of me and us and it, too. 

And like I said, that's what I do my best to focus on. 


  1. This is incredibly enriching. I do think your rich and lyrical way of describing the everyday adds something valuable to this weird world here on the internet. I know that's not what you're looking for, posting these words and these glorious photos, but that's what I see. I know there is darkness in every family, in every mother, there are curse words and bad choices and lost tempers that we know we've sent flying into the atmosphere. I would hope we all know that and breathe easy with the knowledge. Still, we can tell the stories as we see fit; this changes day to day, moon to moon. You always tell them perfectly, there's always a hint at something more, much left unsaid. You've got a beautiful way of doing that; it's your poet soul.

    And that pirate ship RULES.

    1. Thanks, Heather. It means a lot to me to feel... understood, I guess. I love turning my attention, my camera and my words to the joy-filled moments in my life. But I would hate to think that there are people out there who feel like I'm a fraud who is rewriting her narrative to suit her own purposes.
      Again, thank you.

  2. I really love this one. Maybe you're reminding me of my Nanny's nearly daily declaration of "we live good 'round here!" that always elevated all the love and many yummy things we have in our daily life. That's where we find our happiness, though, not by focusing on what we don't have! I don't think that's lazy. I think that's truly recognizing your many blessings in your family's beautiful life❤️ And I think it's why we're friends.
    Well, that and because you're judgemental and cuss too much ;)

    1. Thanks for being judgmental with me. I love you.

  3. Hey! I'm not unknown! That's me up there! ⬆️