I've been spending too much time poking around the computer trying to find all photos that Tom assures me are backed up somewhere. My prodding and poking has not yielded all the fruits I had hoped for, but it certainly has reminded me what life used to be like. A family of four. The time of life when Tom and I were trying to figure out what being a grown up meant while raising two little people. It reminded me of the missteps and mistakes. The lessons. The happiness.
It felt like a different family. A different mother and wife from the one I am now. For better. For worse.
But those toothless smiles haunt me. They're gone forever.
Their voices have changed.
Their bodies have stretched.
I will never get to hold those littler bodies ever again. And today as the wind blows and the sun fails to shine, it is more than this nostalgic heart can bear.