Friday, June 27, 2014

Summer Struggles

As the school year nears its end, I always feel like I am standing on the brink of eternity. I feel like once I leave the building for the year, time will stand still. I will be able to do and not do all the things that the school year makes impossible.

However, every summer, I am struck with how short it truly is, how fast my kids grow, how few weekends there are to pack in all the joys and adventures and projects and people. I start to panic. When is the time for sitting? When do I get to stare at the horizon?

I will always hate busy.

On Thursday, Carrie and Felix came to visit, and it was restful, which is not how I would describe most of my social activities. It was peaceful and easy, with most of our entertainment provided by two 18 month old boys who spend hours and hours trying to figure each other out. They poke each other's nipples and try to give each other hugs. They accidentally knock each other over and then try to help each other up. All the while, their mothers try to imagine what they are saying to each other and wonder if they both understand.

This morning after a walk to our favorite bakery, they left us.
Now I am back to my struggle: my desire to fill each moment of summer with every sort of wonderful conflicting with my need for listless afternoons sipping lemon water on my porch.  I am not sure which way tomorrow will sway.


  1. Oh, those toddler photos are just glorious and tender both at once ... No wonder you sound a little bereft! If only listless (reframed as 'relaxing and letting-go'?) lemon-sipping could make it into the category of 'every kind of wonderful', you'd be sorted ...

    1. Thanks, Alexa. I thought growing up was hard...until I had to watch by babies grow up. Watching is way harder.