Showing posts with label gus. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gus. Show all posts

Friday, February 24, 2017

Now He Is 10

On Monday, Gus turned ten.

On Sunday, we had a family dinner in his honor, the menu, bangers and mash, was changed last minute to pizza and grilled sausage because the weather was beautiful and I could not bear the thought of going in to cook.

On Monday, he went to play laser tag with Tom and a friend. Tom is quick to tell that he won two of the three rounds.

Two nights ago we ate apple cobbler for dessert because it didn't materialize for his family dinner.

Tonight two friends are sleeping over. There will be a bonfire. The kids will run around the dark yard trying their best to scare one another. And my Augustus, will have been completely and thoroughly celebrated.

Which is as it should be because his very name means great or important. I know my mother eyes are biased, but I see great and important things in his future. I see his charming kindness ushering forth a movement. I don't know how large or small, but I know the world is a better place from having my son in it.


Sunday, February 21, 2016

My Nine Year Old Son


Yesterday, my first born son turned nine years old. And if ever I am inclined towards cliches, birthdays are ripe with opportunity. Because how can you not, at the passing of another year, remark how very quickly it goes? How can you not proclaim how it feels like just yesterday that he was taking his first steps and speaking his first words?

And yet, it doesn't feel like yesterday at all because I can't bring up the memories with the precision I so desperately desire. I want to rewind so that I can remember clearly each phase, each age, each stage. Because the truth is, I just can't remember what he was like as he was toddling about. I have no strong associations with who he was when he was five.

Today, however, this freshly minted nine year old boy, is earnest and honest. He is a people pleaser to his core, who is prone to quiet tears when he is reprimanded or punished. He is easily frustrated, which is broadcasted with a shushing sound he makes that drives his mother absolutely bonkers. His prayers go on and on, thanking God for the air we breathe and the water we drink, for the food on the table and the sun in the sky. We all listen on, trying to muster his level of gratitude while also wishing he would wrap things up before the food goes cold.

He wants to be good, strives for it with his whole being. Our pickiest eater, he is always the fastest to suggest a food documentary of school afternoons when I am eager for a break. He wants the facts so he can make better decisions. He listens to the words and he applies them despite personal preference.  Like I said, he is so damn earnest.

And he is charming. Before knowing Gus, I thought that being funny was a necessary component of charm, but I have learned that it can exist without it. Although he has memorized a few jokes he recites with ease and the perfect amount of theatricality, he is too literal for sarcasm and I doubt that he has inherited his father's propensity towards hunor so edgy as to be completely misunderstood by most folks.

Gus has, however, has been trying on goofiness for size, but I think it's a product of age more than personality. I am certain it is a passing phase. Augustus is serious. He likes to talk to people.  He is good at listening. When the older lady who lives on our street calls him over to voice not so subtle complaints, he leaves the conversations perplexed, scratching his sun streaked hair.  "I think I liked talking to her," he will tell me. He enjoys all conversation, regardless of content. He cannot fathom that some conversations are actually unpleasant.

As the clock nears four each afternoon, he starts counting down till he can run down the hill to find his friends. He has a difficult time entertaining himself. He would much rather pass his hours outside with a gang of other children. He is a natural leader. Sena gets upset that he wins every election held among the neighborhood kids.

If I don't pay attention, he will wear the same outfit for days on end, once bragging this summer that he wore the same shorts for eight days straight.

He never complains when I ask him to take out trash, recycling or compost. I never have to remind him to put his plate in the dishwasher. He is good with his little sister, but he is even better with his baby cousin Jettie Blythe, maybe because she is easier to break into smile.

My main complaint with my blue eyed boy who has taken on a Southern Maryland so strong that it often takes me aback, is that he torments his three year old brother far too often and his older sister only slightly less often. But truth be told, I have no fears about the person my Gus will become.


Wednesday, November 18, 2015

Becoming a Soccer Mom

I am decidedly not competitive. While my friend Shannon insists that I am, and while there were a few pretty heated games of Taboo in college, I think she is projecting. I just don't think it's a label that I can/ need to claim.

For instance, when I watch my kids engaged in sports, competition, or performance, I am not really rooting for them to win, or to be the best. I just want them to be good enough that none of us are embarrassed. This very low bar has still not always been met. We have been at pinewood derby races where Sena and Gus's cars could barely make it down the track. While we tried to spin it in our favor-- we were probably the only parents there who didn't build the cars for their kids-- it's hard to watch your kid come in dead last. Over and over again.

When Gus started soccer this season, I was just hoping for good enough. I hoped they would win some of their games so that he wouldn't lose enthusiasm for the sport. I wanted him to get play time. I wanted him to feel he was an integral part of the team. That was all I needed, and that is pretty much how the season went. He had a laid back coach who remained relatively quiet on the sidelines. They spent most of their practices scrimmaging rather than running drills. The pressure was low, and so were my expectations. The team played well together and there were a few really good players, but it wasn't an all-star team. So it came as a great surprise that they won their play-off game, then the semi-finals, and finally ended the season bringing home the #1 trophy. What came as an even greater surprise was how much I wanted his team to win watching those games. The nerves. The anxiety.
The rearing of a competitive head that I didn't know was buried somewhere deep, waiting to cheer on my child.

Monday, July 13, 2015

Gus and The Big Apple

Last week's short jaunt to New York City was Gus's first time. It involved a whole slew of firsts: first tim on a bus, in a cab, on the subway. His first roller coaster, which he was disappointed wasn't alongside his big sister. His first time eating calamari, which he was excited to brag about to his more culinarily adventurous big sister.  In addition to those notable firsts, there was also so much to be learned. It involved the requisite educational component: we spent the afternoon on the Intrepid. While there, he definitely gained some facts, picking up the sort of knowledge that can be gleaned from books but is some much more memorable when accompanied by buttons to push and spaces to explore. His reaction to discovering that the Gemini 3 was nicknamed the Gusmobile was sweet and priceless: "My name's Gus," he announced to me and Joanna, as though that was a fact that might have escaped us.

But the most profound learning occurred outside the realm of the strictly educational. It came through discovering how different the lives of others can be. What it is like to live in small places, to walk  longer distances, to shop in bodegas, to cool off in city fountains. A life full of elevator pressing, cross walks, and public transportation. At dinner in a basement level Italian restaurant, while talking to a grumpy, old Italian man who teased Gusto the brink of his comfort level , I think Gus learned how alike two seemingly different people can be, when the meal ended with sharing photos of their respective fishing triumphs.

I was grateful to spend a few of days with just one child as my main focus. Gus got the chance to take control of more of my attention than usual. While Alamae was there with us, there were enough adults to lighten the load and the trip catered to Gus's whims, giving him the time and space to shine. My heart broke dozens of times each day as I watched my charming blonde boy interact with the people around him, easily talking with adults and children alike. His words warm and genuine. Watching my boy take a new place by storm left me prideful to the point of sin.


Sunday, February 22, 2015

Sleepover Mayhem

Some things manage to be both simple and incredibly chaotic. That might be the very reason people plan, trading simplicity for order. Gus's sleepover consisted of: a dozen kids, lots of pizza, a few homemade decorations that Sena and Gus put together at the last minute, absolutely not one single planned activity, and moments of mayhem.

Kids ran around wielding weapons, donned in dress up clothes, spanning almost ten years in age. As it turns out, they don't seem to miss party games or crafts or any of the other things we try to enforce. They just want to run up and down the stairs, making way too much noise. Arlo tried his best to keep up, but was always the last one up from the basement, the last one to make it to the table for food. He fell asleep piled in the middle of them all, watching a movie in the basement. That basement, by the way, is invaluable--a place to banish kids when carnival head starts kicking in, and I feel my sanity is waning. 

The next day after donuts, sausages, grapes and orange juice, the guests all headed back to their respective homes, and I was left with three sleepy kids, an impending snow storm, and an impatient heart. Where are you spring? When will you be here baby girl number two? 


Friday, February 20, 2015

Gus :: Eight

Today he turns eight.

A boy it is so easy to simply describe as charming and kind, both of which are completely true and both of which are also completely insufficient to explain my oldest boy. A boy who hates breaking the rules almost as much as he hates seeing people he loves getting in trouble. When Sena is  being threatened with punishment, he implores her to take warning. He can't bear to watch it. He sometimes leaves the room.  He will take responsibility for any mistake he has made, and some he hasn't, for his sister's sake. He recently pondered if he might love Sena more than she loves him.

When Gus heard me discussing trying to find a way to purchase raw milk, illegal milk, he swore he would never drink it. He will not partake in anything that hints at wrongdoing.

But Gus is by no means timid or afraid; in fact, he is daring. While he would never want to hurt another soul, he is more than willing to risk harm to himself. And yet, somehow, he almost never  gets hurt. He is the sort of rough and tumble boy you would expect to be bruised and broken, stitched and plastered, but he manages to break all of his falls, to always land on his feet.

He is so easy to be proud of, the sort of boy who will grow up to be the sort of man you would want your daughter to marry.

Happy birthday, Augustus. I love you more than you will ever know.







Friday, December 5, 2014

Character Development

In movies and books, character always trumps plot. I am far more concerned with who is doing something than I am with what is being done.

I grew up in a family of six children: one boy, five girls. From the outside, I am sure that we were frequently understood as a unit rather than a set of six individuals. But within our band, we knew who we were. We knew who was the firey one. The sweet one. We knew who was the quietest and who was the loudest. The bossy one. The most independent. Trying to explain each personality was a part of early friendships, the sort of thing you spend hours discussing with a boy you have a crush on while staring out at the dark water.

I felt like you couldn't know me without knowing them. And knowing about them collectively is not enough. You needed to know them as individuals.

As I write my children's story here, I hope that readers understand them as individuals too. It's easy for Sena to just be the girl. For Gus to be the boy. For Arlo to be the baby. But each of them is so much more. 



Sena is shy and bossy. Worried about breaking rules, but never worried about "fitting in."

On Sunday a girl at church, the same girl who teased Gus because of his long hair, made fun of the turban Sena was wearing. Sena just told her, "We have different styles. You're more a preppy style. I'm more of an artsy, weird style."


Gus is serious and charming. He is the sweetest of my children, the one most likely to offer a hug when he thinks someone needs it. He will tell me I look pretty out of nowhere, and suddenly, I feel pretty because Gus is above all things honest.



For the first year of Arlo's life we sang the praise to his mellowness. He adapted easily to situations, rarely complaining. As he has gotten older, he is more likely to let his displeasure be known, most often by furrowing his brow. He will sit quietly for long stretches playing with plastic dinosaurs or Sena's dolls. However, he would much rather be running after his older siblings around the center of the house, laughing and squealing, "Come on guys!"


Other attempts at explaining them: My Tribe  and Likes/ Dislikes. 

Monday, November 24, 2014

Brothers

There is nothing so important on a warm Monday in November that it can't wait until Tuesday. It's worth eating scrambled eggs for dinner and forsaking lofty laundry goals. A clean house is no match for watching two boys behave exactly like brothers-- brothers who happen to look almost nothing alike except for their streaky blond hair. 

Arlo seems to be growing up twice as fast as Sena and Gus. The influence of older kids has driven him to do things that took the older two much longer to attempt. He spends more time out of my field of vision, off with the big kids, following their lead. He desperately wants to keep up, and for a tottering not yet two year old, he does pretty well. 

When Gus bangs his hammer, Arlo grabs a branch and imitates. When Gus goes scurrying over fallen trees, Arlo is close behind. 

It has been many generations since my very predominantly female family has had a set of brothers in the mix; it's not a dynamic I grew up with. My only brother was lost in a sea of sisters. Rough housing was not a part of my childhood. Watching these two little boys attack the world together, all bulldozers and dirty knees, is an all together new experience for me, one I am happy to devote my energy to while a half dozen projects remain half done. 


Wednesday, May 21, 2014

How Did This Happen

Gus is sort of a redneck.

Well, maybe an aspiring redneck.

Actually, maybe redneck is not the right word.  

Redneck has negative connotations. I just looked it up.  Merriam Webster defines a redneck as:  a white person who lives in a small town or in the country, especially in the southern U.S., who typically has a working-class job, and who is seen by others as being uneducated and having opinions and attitudes that are offensive. 

Gus is white. He does live in a small(ish) town in the (sort of) South. He wants to be working-class, with dreams of being a boat captain or a carpenter. And he is pretty uneducated; he is only in first grade, after all. But I can't imagine him having opinions or attitudes that are offensive. He's a kind boy, charming and more sensitive than you might imagine. He looks out for people. He cares.
But his favorite song at the moment, replacing Girl Downtown by Hayes Carll (which I much preferred)  is Boys 'Round Here. I assume that he heard it from my sisters or one of their boyfriends because I certainly had never heard it until Gus started singing about drinking ice cold beer. 

When you have kids, you sort of assume that they will be something like you. And if not you, that they will at least be something like the other parent. But Gus, he is not me. He is not Tom. He is not Sena, and I will put money on the fact that he won't be Arlo either.

He is all Gus, a boy who doesn't look like any of us or act like us either.

Gus is proud of his buck teeth, and he talks with a twang. He loves to fish, and he wants to hunt. He hates wearing shoes almost as much as he hates wearing a shirt. He adores my sisters' boyfriends, who are varying degrees of country: men who buy him sling shots for Christmas, who take him on rockfish tournaments, who show him barns full of muskrat pelts. 

He looks up to my brother and my friend Steve. He likes working in the yard and building fires. He likes eating meat, preferably with ketchup. He doesn't like to read. He will most certainly drive a truck one day.

If  I had designed my own son, I would not have designed Gus. It would never have occurred to me to make a little man so different from Tom, so different from every boy I ever had a crush on. I wouldn't have planned for a country gentleman, which is actually probably a more accurate label for my eldest boy.

I'm so glad I wasn't in charge. I'm so glad he came out just the way he did. I would have totally screwed it up.

I asked him once if he wanted to be a lawyer like his dad; he said "I don't want to be a lawyer, just like dad. Daddy doesn't even like being a lawyer."  Maybe he does have something in common with Tom after all.  

Thursday, February 20, 2014

Dearest Gus, Happy Birthday

Happiest Birthday, my sweet, wild boy.
You are so funny and generous, with a touch of seriousness..
You still say the best prayers, even though you do it less now because you say you get embarrassed.
You are such a good brother.

And chess player. 
I swear I'm going to beat you one of these days.


Earlier this week one of my high school students told me he stopped kissing his mom when he was seven. This is not the thing to tell a mama two days before her son is about to turn that fateful age. Promise me you will still rush to the door when I get home from work to get the first kiss. 
Promise that I can still tuck you in at night. 
Promise.

I know in my heart you are going to be a great man one day, 
but I'm so glad you are still my little boy for now.

Happiest 7th Birthday Augustus Kiernan. 
I am so glad you are mine.

Also---thank you so much Mama and Aunt Laurie. 
They took my boy for his yearly Toys-R-Us shopping extravaganza. 
Usually I have to work, but today I had to nurse a sick Arlo. 

Gus's Six Birthday here and here. 

Friday, January 31, 2014

Crannies and Corners- Gus's Room

Bedrooms aren't my thing. I like making spaces for living and entertaining, for eating and gathering. 
Rooms meant for sleeping, meant for solitude and rest, are hard for me to get excited about.

I've tried to help my kids create spaces for themselves. Places to play and imagine, without the chaos of the rest of the home intruding. This is Gus's space, complete with treasure chests and shark books. 

Although I wish the walls were papered in this dinosaur amazingness and that I maybe hadn't painted most of the walls in my house yellow before realizing that my shady house would benefit from more reflected light, I am embracing this room as it is now. Embracing his disgusting shark fetus in a jar and his growing collection of rocks. 






This room gets the best light in the house, so my temperamental fiddle leaf fig tree had to be moved out of the hustle and bustle of daily living where I wish I could appreciate it more often throughout the day, and into Gus's corner of our house. I sure hope that tree makes it. I'm not so sure it will.

Now if only I could get Gus to actually play in his room from time to time, to pull out the toys from his closet when he claims, as he frequently does, that he is bored, so bored.